Star Bright
by addisonaltman
Summary: When someone has trouble sleeping, they turn to the stars.


**A/N: Yet another update to come to be in English class, this one is slightly sad and wouldn't leave me alone. It probably doesn't make sense and it's sad but enjoy anyway:)  
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She tossed around for what felt like the thousandth time that night before she finally gave up and slipped silently from her warm bed, slightly flinching at the coldness of the wooden floor underneath her feet. She shivered lightly, pulling the cuffs of her hoodie over her hands and moving to close the slightly open window. Earlier she'd thought that the cold would make her yearn for the warmth of her bed and eventually she would sleep but for the fifth night in a row, she had been able to fall into a peaceful slumber.

Putting on her slippers as she went, she padded softly into the hallway. Being careful not to wake her mother or brother, she made her way down the stairs and into the kitchen. She wondered how the rest of her family managed to sleep while she was cursed with her sudden bout of insomnia. She was physically exhausted, her body weak and sore however it seemed that her mind didn't want to cooperate. She was tired and cranky. Using the lights that were under the kitchen cabinets as her only source of light, she turned on the kettle and set about making her self some sweet tea.

Taking the steaming mug in her hands, she moved into the living room. All the lights were off but the large window illuminated the room with the light of New York, the city that never sleeps. She now had something in common with the city she loved, a crippling insomnia. She curled up into the soft window seat, her back against one side of it. The warm ceramic of her mug gave her a small comfort as the rain battered on the window. She was thankful that the sun at least had the decency to leave her alone.

She thought back to the events of five days ago. She could remember being in the coffee shop when she got the call, her mother telling her to come home immediately and she had the tone that told her not to argue. She could remember entering the family loft to see her brother and sister sitting on the couch looking scared. She could remember her mother leaving her father's study with tears in her eyes. She could remember looking for her father but he wasn't there.

She took a sip of her tea as the tears came once again. She tries not to see the look in her mother's eyes as she told them the news. She tries not to hear her older sister's heart wrenching cry. She tries not to feel her older brother's tears as they leaked through her shirt. She tries not to remember the feeling she got as her world fell apart around her.

She hears the shuffling of her brother's foot steps as he comes up behind her but she just stares vacantly at the cars in the street below her. She feels him squeeze her shoulder and brush a kiss to the top of her head. He knows what tomorrow will bring; he knows they'll have to say their final goodbyes.

Seeing his little sister looking so fragile and lost as she sat looking out of the window made his already shattered heart break a little bit more. Being her older brother meant he had to be there for her through this. But he was already beginning to doubt his own strength. He didn't know how he was going to through this. He didn't know how any of his family was going to get through this. His mother was painting on a brave face as she always did. His older sister no longer lived with them but he knew it was hard on her too. His little sister had stopped eating and rarely slept. He couldn't stop crying no matter how hard he tried to be strong.

"Anna." He spoke softly, as if he was coaxing a small child out of under the bed when they'd had a nightmare. "Go back to bed."

"I can't sleep." She said, taking another sip of her tea before she turned to look at him. "I think my body has forgotten how to."

"Have you spoken to mom about it?" he asks, knowing she hasn't.

"I don't want to worry her." She's lying and he knows it.

"She already worries about you."

"Dad always said he wanted to become a star when he died." She said changing the subject.

"He was always a star."

"I think he's that big bright one in the middle." She said, her finger on the glass of the window showing him which one.

"Yeah, I think he's that one too." He said, gathering his sister in his arms as silent tears fell from his cheeks.

Kate stood leaning against the railing at the foot of the stairs, silently watching her children. She saw Jack hug Anna and she heard the soft sobs that came from her son. They broke apart and turned to look at their mother. She smiled at them before quietly saying,

"C'mon you two. Bed."

She watched as they walked up the stairs in front of her and was shocked when instead of retreating to their own bedrooms, they turned and entered hers. She watched as they climbed into the separate sides before they patted the middle, gesturing for her to get in. As soon as she was comfortable, Jack and Anna curled into her, seeking their mother's warmth and security. In minutes she realised both of them were sleeping soundly and she finally fell into a dreamless sleep.

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The next few days passed by in a blur. The Castle family were completely numb throughout the whole funereal that was attended by hundreds of people gathered to celebrate the life of the great Richard Castle. Kate made a speech as the tears constantly fell. Anna, Jack and Alexis dropped flowers onto the casket that held their beloved father as it was lowered into the ground. Lanie, Javier and Kevin stood side by side as they watched their friend being laid to rest.

Anna still could not sleep, Jack was still crying constantly but it was getting better. Another night had passed when Anna could not sleep yet again and she slipped carefully out of bed to make herself tea and sit at the living room window.

"Hey daddy." She whispered to his star, relishing in the small comfort that it brought. "We all miss you. Mom is being brave for us, although she's not sure if she still wants to fight the bad guys. I tried to tell her that you'd want her to keep protecting the city but she told me that she doesn't want us to lose another parent. I can tell that she's sorry for what happened. But it's not her fault, we keep telling her that but we don't think she believes it. She said that if the bullet had hit her instead, you'd still be alive. Jack told her that you wouldn't let that happen; he keeps telling her that you loved her so much that you gave your own life to save hers. She still blames herself though."

"Alexis is finding it hard, Ashley says that she won't get out of bed at all. He keeps telling her that it's not good for the baby. He told her that she needs to be strong for her baby brother and sister and her mom. Ashley's worried though, he's never seen Alexis so sad. None of us have."

"Jack's crying a lot. He says he needs to become the man of the house. He's trying to be strong. He's acting to wise for seventeen daddy. It's scary. He's only two years older than me and he's trying to grow up so soon"

"As for me, well, I've been better. I just want to cry and write really sad poems. My inner writer is showing. I can't sleep unless I'm tucked up with mom. I just really need one of your hugs right now but I know that it would be impossible. Just know that I love you, a lot. And that I always will. I won't forget you either and I'll make sure Alexis' baby will know how amazing their grandfather was. I love you."

Anna stood up, smiling softly before she whispered; "Good night daddy." And made her way to her room where she finally allowed her exhausted body to rest.

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**A/N: Did you like it? Tell me about it, press that little button!**


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